Ever had that moment where your kid decides to have a complete meltdown just when your most important client rings up to discuss the latest project status? I have those, and many others too. Too many, in fact. Moments that make me want to flee the country and shack up in Timbuktu. So why am I still here? Because I get all the crazy out of me when I run every morning, barring Sundays. Sundays are my free-pass days. Anyway, back to the exorcism of crazy through running! I run and indulge in some pretty interesting thoughts while running, just because that’s the time I owe to myself to be completely free. That’s the time to ponder, and li’ll ol’ me ponders on a lot of things.
The reason I’m sharing these thoughts here are, of course, for your entertainment, but also to enlighten you how being a little isolated, with only your thoughts as company, early in the day keeps you sane and strong the rest of the day. And for all you men out there, catch a glimpse of what any woman might think when they are left alone! So here are 79 thoughts that go through my mind while running – mind you, they keep changing according to my mood –
- Must. Stretch. Now. Oh man, the watchman is looking…. double stretch tomorrow!
Check the perfect warm up routine for running , here!
- My knees are clicking so loudly. Is that healthy?! Note to self – Google “loudly clicking knees”.
- Wait, what’s that noise?! Never mind, it’s just me huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf.
- Only 11 steps? Forgot to set up the step counter to “Aerobic” mode.. Aaahh!
- Ah such a nice breeze.. uh oh just swallowed a fly.. hopefully it was just a fly.
- Will I fall?
- If I fall, will anyone help me up?
- My heart is racing. Am I experiencing chest pain?
- What was that damn formula to calculate the target heart rate? Why did I leave my phone behind?!!
- What if I have a heart attack – who will find my body?
- Whew! False alarm. If I’m still running, I’m good.
- Hmm.. I’m really running now. This is good.
- I should do this more often.
- What.. 3 kilometers only?! I’ll die today.
- Here comes the burn.
- Ride the burn.
– – – –
- Accept the burn.
- No burn. Yay! Just an empty vortex right below the diaphragm that’s going to suck me in and create a blackhole in the universe.
- OK. Think something else.
- Go on, think about something else.
- Whose sindoor does Rekha wear?
- Nah.. too much to think about.
- Think Trump.
- Trump and the wall on Mexico border.
- Wish there was a wall right here. I want to lean. I want to curl up and sleep.
- Ok, new thoughts please!
- Is my baby going to be okay alone with her Dad?
- What if she falls down from the bed while he’s sound asleep?
- I need to be there for my baby.
- Run, feet. Run.
- Wait. No panicking. Think better thoughts.
- Are my pants holding up?
- Yes they are.
- Am I still panting too much?
- Oh no! There comes a dog. Should I stop running? Oh stick, where are thou?
- Don’t make eye contact with the doggie. He will sense my fear.
- Run, feet. Run.
- Clear the mind.
- I wonder if my maid will show up today for work.
- What do I feel like eating? Maybe some Chinese.. Yum!
- But what if the maid comes in?! No Chinese. Sniff! Sniff!
- Maybe we’ll go out for Chinese tonight. Double yum!
- Stop thinking about food!
- Double Chicken Whopper from Burger King.. With a side of Onion Rings. Aaahhh!!
- STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. FOOD.
- Ok, one last time.
- French Fries!!
- Hot, Salty, Crispy French Fries. Yummmmm!
- And I’m done. Back to running. Clear the mind.
- I’m born for running.
- Running like the wind!
- Ok another burn.
- I am INVINCIBLE
- Oh God, what’s that smell?! Oops.. it’s me.
- Run, feet. Run.
- Thank the Lord.. I can see my house from here.
- Almost back to reality..
- I’m exhausted!
- You can do it, feet. You can. I’m with you.
- Oh why did I even take up running?!
- I’m going to fall.
- Focus. Think about the Chinese dinner waiting for me tonight.
- But what if the maid comes in?
- Oh I don’t care.. Chinese dinner, you are mine!!
- Oh, shit! That’s my neighbour out for her morning walk. Do I wave or say Hello!?
- Okayyy.. she totally avoided me. What a bitch! Never doing that again.
- Did anybody see that? Maybe that dog.
- Oh no, dog alert!
- Don’t make eye contact with the dog.
- Keep running.
- Why are there so many dogs in this area?
- Was that the same dog I saw earlier?
- Oh who cares, where IS my house?
- OOh, there it is!
- Must use stairs. Not the elevator.
- Maybe tomorrow. Go, Elevator.
- Home sweet home.
- I love you, dear Carpet.