Speed and wheels excite us all. Getting on the road, taking the wind by the challenge, all pumped up by that adrenaline rush- yes, it’s exhilarating. But there are some of us who get carried away too much too often. And that includes the cyclists too. If you are a bicycle lover and frequently get in the saddle then you have most definitely met a few types of cyclists yourself- mostly the annoying kinds.
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You see, speeding up on a motorcycle or a car is a different kind of road rage. The machines that we are speaking of are huge metals with greater power and brake capacity. Whereas a cycle, compared to them is, well, puny! Yet men and women will feel the need to be a daredevil on them. Some will act like pros while others will advise you like veterans. And then there are the pesty ones blocking you or showing off in a busy lane.
Whoever they are, you have either cross paths with them or heard about these wankers from pissed off friends If we have made our case then here’s a list of types of cyclists to keep your distance from on the road.
Types of Cyclists: Beware of Their Antics
Cyclists come in all shapes and sizes, and in all personalities too. There’s the one suit up in complete cycling gear (read Lycra) for no reason, there is the romantic one who imagines themselves to be cycling right out of a European street with their wicker baskets and ghetto stereos, and of course the ones who MUST stay ahead of everyone like it’s some kind of ego booster or anything.
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Such varied riders have surely redefined the cyclist definition. Here are some who have occupied respectful mention in our list of types of cyclists you meet in your daily life.
The Enthused Biker
This is the bike hedonist who would lecture anyone and everyone on how great it is to ride a bike or how validating it is to be part of the cycling fraternity. Often seen riding an old, traditional cycle because “that’s the way cycling should be” and holding forth on about how they always get up at sunrise to be able to ride to the sound of birdsong.
The sound of rubber on asphalt, the smell of the countryside, the attractive bike lanes of the city or how being on two wheels gives them a new zest for life … all right we get it; why not write a poem about it for Christ sakes!
The Hard-Core Biker
These are those cyclists who do not cycle for the ride but for the challenge. They are the ones who hill repeats on a weekend with 50 miles of warm-up pedaling on a scenic trail!
They are very particular about bike setups and likes to keep updated with the new technologies that are supposed to make their cycling all the more perfect.
The Miles Collector
Obsessed with the numbers, these cyclists wouldn’t miss any opportunity to rack up the miles. They will be seen taking their fancy bicycles even to the neighborhood bakery shops just get a loaf of bread. Every little mile matters is what they would say to one and all.
The Insta Cyclist
So much in love with the new bike and newfound love for riding that every time they step out with it, a social media post is a must! A single ride is interrupted about 20 times for the innumerable poses and pictures which are stamped with 40 #hashtags #about #bikes and #riding quotes else did the ride even happen?
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The Tech Geek
This cyclist walks around with a condescending air. They can spot compact chainset varieties from 20 meters off and will berate all your choices of cycling gears, starting from the wheels because he “always” knows the best.
And god forbid if you start a technical discussion about cycles and cycling with him.
The “don’t need lights” Cyclist
The only type of cyclists sillier than the gram addicts are the ones who venture out at night without nights because who needs them when you are on a cycle, right? WRONG! Do you want to die?!
It is because of such cyclists that contribute largely to the bad blood between drivers and cyclists. It was not that driver’s fault that some of you end up in the hospital when you were only out for a short “light-less” ride in the dark.
The Cyclist Who Cuts-in
Sure, you have met this prick of a cyclist who was riding behind you but just as you stopped at the traffic signal because it was red, he squeezes by to line up alongside or just ahead of you instead of waiting behind. He chooses to an annoying cyclist who overtakes you under the light and leaves you exasperated.
It wouldn’t be a big of a problem when it’s not all that busy but in rush hours when space is minimum, this indecent breach of cycling code could become a pretty serious issue.
No Helmets Rider
Following in a close second to the “no lights” cyclists are the “stuntman” bikers who wouldn’t wear helmets. These are one of the worst types of cyclists. Surely, we don’t have to educate anyone about the importance head safety in a fall. And it is equally an eyesore to see them using their phones while on the bike to check new updates on peer approval.
You are on the road and to abide by road safety rules is foremost important, kid!
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Those on Lie-down Bikes
Just one question- WHY?
Officially known as ‘recumbent bicycle’ these cycles that allow you to be in a more relaxed posture while riding. Apparently, they are faster than normal bikes but are they safer? Or comfortable for that matter?
The Video Uploader
Oh! those delusional riders who think that people are actually watching their mindless, pointless videos of riding on Youtube. The titles are even worse than the content. A few of them goes like “MAD CRAZY WIPEOUT on a Mountain Bike” when in reality it is just another not so crazy off-road lullaby.
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The All-time Racer
They will race you even to the supermarket that just a few blocks away. For them, charity rides are Grand Tour races that they must win, or at least ride for it. You shall them moving in bunches in similar jerseys and identical bikes. They may even mock you for riding an old Kona. But don’t mind them!
The Strava Junkie
To these cyclists, a ride without a segment is not a ride worth doing and a ride that’s not recorded is a ride that never happened. They have an insatiable hunger for KOMs and will do almost anything to get more, even wind doping! The Strava junkie is daring to push dangerous extremes by tailgating buses, blow red lights and stop signs, and would gladly mow down any pedestrian in their maniacal quest for the KOM crowns.
And those were some of the craziest types of cyclists.
Cycling is like a survival sport. There are constant hazards lurking around you from 360 degrees and yet so many people turn into total, irredeemable, lunatics. Every time you make it home alive you breathe a sigh of relief because we all know that bikes are completely vulnerable. You need all four of your limbs to be deft and put in every ounce of your concentration to ride it properly.
How on earth can you justify the checking of phone or riding without lights and helmets? Indefensible! And before you say it – if you’re using GPS then either pull over and look, or try the revolutionary tactic of actually looking it up before you take off.
So, what type of cyclist are you?